Love is...

What an appropriate fruit of the Spirit to study first.  I have been slowly making my way through Living Beyond Yourself.  This Spirit living is something I need desprately.  Letting myself decrease so that He can increase. I wake each day with plans to let the Spirit lead and when my feet hit the floor I so easily let the natural woman take over.

4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

After much studying on this fruit of the Spirit, I was given a perfect oppurtunity to see if I was truly growing in this area.  My sweet husband failed to run an errand and I was hurt. This errand wasn't forgotten, just not done.  I immediately let him know how disappointed I was that this had not been taken care of. He responded that if I would like to see that done, I would have to do it myself.  I was really angry at this point, but I chose not to say anything.  As I reflected on the situation, God kept reminding me about the first fruit of the Spirit-LOVE!

I kept meditating on 1 Corinthians 13:5

5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

This verse had started to penetrate my heart, it was doing its intended work discerning my thoughts and intents.  I was angry! I felt like screaming, but I couldn't.  Because to scream would mean that everything I'd been learning had been forgotten.  It would mean that I had suddenly decided to become a hearer of the word and not a doer. It would mean that I had looked into the perfect law of liberty and gotten a glimpse of my selfish, ugly heart and decided to walk away unchanged.

22But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth].

23For if anyone only listens to the Word without obeying it and being a doer of it, he is like a man who looks carefully at his [own] natural face in a mirror;

24For he thoughtfully observes himself, and then goes off and promptly forgets what he was like.

25But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience).

I want do want to be changed,  but transforming to Spirit living is hard.  It's far easier to do what comes naturally.  Paying attention to a suffered wrong does come quite naturally for me,  especially when the perceived wrong came from my beloved.  It's far easier to overlook an offense from someone I don't know.
The ones I love most need this Spirit living, so I persevere because if I can they will receive a blessing.