Throwing Time Away...

Because we were the ones who have chosen this road less traveled by...having these little ones here...

all day...learning...loving...experiencing life together...

I thought we were somewhat protected from hasty days and hurried lives.

Time slow has always been a priority to me...letting them play...explore...imagine.

But busyness has entered our lives through...me!

I'm always pushing to get this job done...that next thing marked off of my list.

As I sit here in the early morning before little feet begin to run...

I am reading His Word...

 

O Lord, make me know my end

and what is the measure of my days;

let me know how fleeting I am!

 Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,

and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Psalms 39:4-5

and this...

"What was the pastor's most profound regret in life?"

"Being in a hurry.  Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me.

I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry.

But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing...Through all that haste I thought I was making up time.  It turns out I was throwing it away."

I read these passages and the words weigh heavy.

I begin to close my eyes and hear myself.

No, I don't have time to play that game right now...

No, I can't read a story right now...

I'm sorry I am folding clothes...I'll hold you in a minute.

In a minute usually never comes because they find something new to occupy and I am off to the next task.

Moments missed...never to be found again...

How many moments have I been missing?

Welcome New Year...

I awoke on the first day of the year feeling...

excited

hopeful

blessed

I told Chris it was exciting to think of a brand new year before me..

a fresh one with no mistakes in it yet.

He told me to just wait, it wouldn't take long.

And it didn't.

But I'm so thankful that ...

"It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed,

because His tender compassions fail not.

They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23

So this year among the mistakes and the messes,

I long to bask in the grace of His new mercies every morning.

So I want to make this year...

the year of counting His tender mercies Every. Day.

1.  little girls giggling...chasing each other with cold hands

2.  Little Bitty shaking the garbage bag out and trying to put it in the can.

3.  Bo's excitement over starting his own quiet time...he told me reading his Bible has helped throughout his day.

4.  Boo telling me how much he wants Jesus in his heart.

5.  Little girls flying high in the swing...hair blowing in the breeze...full of giggles

6.  A week at home with Him...dreaming...looking...loving

7.  Laying on the couch with Him...feeling his heartbeat...breathing him in...feeling his arms around me.

8.  the gray in his beard

9.  Seeing a teenage son put his arms around his mom in a parking lot and giving her a hug.

10.  Listening to Little Bitty sing "There's No God Like Tekola" (Jehovah) on the way home from church.

11. Cruising the back roads with Him looking for a few acres to call our own.

12.  Gathering with family...eating...sharing...laughing...loving

 

The List...

So I have been trying to be much more aware of the gifts God bestows each day.  The little things I usually take for granted.  It was on my mind as I rocked our newest little one in the wee hours of the morning.   My eyes were heavy with sleep, but this little one was warm and wiggling in my arms.  These moments will be gone all to soon.  I wanted to hold her like that...stopping time to breathe her in and study each feature.  The features that are already changing day by day.


And it was at this time that I thought about my list...the one scratched on the back of an envelope...the one typed out on this computer...the one written in my mind.

sun streaming through the window after days of rain

shiny bathtub...cleaned by my love...waiting for me in the morning

Little Bitty...singing beside me in the bed...hayayuyah(hallelujah)

Little Bitty...always asking..."Where's nayna mama?"...her name for her new sister...always answering "Ohhh"... when I show her.

Baby girl sleeping peacefully after an hour of restlessness in the middle of the night

I thought that during Bible Time today I would share with my little ones about my list.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:17

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  1Thess 5:16-18

Just maybe...they would be inspired to begin noticing gifts that God gives each of them.

I thought about little notebooks and pens and how I would have to help them write...

And then the thought that makes my blood run cold...

I swallow hard...

Tears begin to fall...

Would I make it onto their lists...

...a mommy who plays tea party with me

...a mommy who gently instructs

...a mommy that smiles

...a mommy that plays games and laughs

...a mommy who encourages

In order to make it onto the lists, I'm going to have to be more available... to them...yes, I am here,

but being here and saying Yes to the things that would make their lists will take some extra effort.

It may mean the dishes have to wait...

the clothes may not be folded just yet..

the floors may be strewn with teacups and legos and train tracks...

But I will be giving myself to them...

and if they want, they can write it on their list.


His never-ending gifts...



Do you want to start your own list?

Here's how 
and 
Here

Mommy Struggles

Being a mom is hard work.  Being a patient mom to four little ones could possibly be the hardest job on the planet.  I know because I work at that job day after day.  It seems to me that each night as I survey the beautiful mess I purpose to be more patient, give more grace, speak more kindness to each one of my children.  I think back over the day, and consider the moments I may have missed.  There are days I choose to clean instead of stopping to have a tea party, sometimes I read and never make eye contact when the little ones are telling me something, sometimes I can be way to serious, when I just need to smile and laugh and study each face.  The time I have with the little ones entrusted to my care is fleeting. Lately I have let other things take the place of time with the littles.  Lately I have been much too impatient.  Lately I have been showing frustration much to easily.  Even in the midst of the chaos I hear His words.  Will I heed them?

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?  Romans 2:4

Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:4

She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is one her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.  Prov. 15:1

From the Mouth of Babes...

 The Jesse Tree stands in the corner...

a bare branch that had fallen from our Magnolia tree ...

The ornaments cut and glued by the boys...

tied on with a piece of twine.

We got a little behind,

so I decided to do a devotion at breakfast.

I had read the scripture...

little one interrupting occasionally...

I need a paper towel...

Can I have more juice?

Little Bitty wanting out of the high chair...

Saying, "Out", then crying when I say, "No"

So my second born son, begins to speak...

I cut him off, determined to stay on track with the devotion.

"Is this about the Bible story I just read?"

"No", he responds, "but its good."

I relent and let him speak.

I can see by the look in his eyes that these words are welling up inside.

He needs a chance to speak truth.

And speak truth he does...

"We should really be doing the good things we do, so we can plant our seeds everyday all year long not just at Christmas.  We should give to others all year long, not just at Christmas."

(he's referring to the seeds they have been planting each day when they do a good deed...growing grass/straw for the manger on Christmas morning, and choosing gifts from the Samaritan's Purse catalog to give to Jesus)

I sit speechless for a moment...

because he's got it.

He understands!

And I almost missed it because I was in a hurry to hang an ornament on the tree.

I wonder what other heart words I have missed because I was too

hurried to stop and listen.

 

Patience...Will I Ever Embrace It?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Against such things there is no law.

There are some days that patience eludes me.  Last week I had a few of those days when it seemed like everything was falling apart.  There were no major catastrophes, but the little annoyances of the day started mounting one on top of the other and I felt like I was drowning.

brothers...usually buddies...suddenly lots of problems with each other and every activity they began...ended in tears

little bitty...toddling about...climbing on the table...sneaking in the laundry room...finding the cat food...brothers screaming..."Mom, she's bothering what we are working on"...not once but several times

trying to sketch together...the pressure of monitoring everyone...so that no little one draws on anothers paper

LouLou...suddenly terribly hurt and unable to walk...at the least request of mine...this is beginning to be an everyday occurrence...I must deal with this very soon.

brother...closing van door on little bitty's ankle..."Mom, I didn't know her foot was in the way, I thought the seat was caught in the door"...baby crying...ankle blackening

Little bitty...eating crayons for the 1000th time

nap time woes...for the third day in a row.

As I thought about the days that had begun to try me as a mother, I began to think about my perspective.  These days come and suddenly I am letting my frustrations show through to four little disciples and the man that I love.  I wince as I reflect on my response to these situations.  Spirit living calls for more than I sometimes give.  My response is a choice...I must choose to give Christ control  in all situations and refuse to let my situations control me.

Why?

Because I am mothering four little ones.  How can I teach them gentleness when I am frustrated and angry with my responses?  How can I teach them forgiveness if I remind them of all the things that has gone wrong today?  How can I teach them to consider one another when I am only considering myself?

Because at the end of the day when the little ones are asleep and all is quiet...the floors are scattered with toys...the sink is full of dishes...and I am tired...tears well up as I think of the day when I will long for one more moment of this sweet craziness.  I really don't want to ruin the time I have with them with frustrated responses and careless words.  I want to embrace each day and live...cherishing our moments...the easy ones...and the hard ones

Ministering to the Least of These

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about raising sons and daughters who are deliberately trying to be Jesus' hands and feet to a world that so desperately needs him.  As I shared my heart with Chris, he told me that opportunities will present themselves, we will just need to be sensitive to them when they do.  I believe that God has recently opened one such door for us at the local nursing home.  We had been visiting my great-grandmother and made several friends at the nursing home.  So when she passed away in March I contacted the activities director for a list of names.  I wanted to visit with some residents who did not get many visits.   So with my list of names in hand, we have been making the rounds every couple of weeks for two months now.


I can't explain the joy I feel as we make our rounds each time we visit.  Starting out I explained to the little ones how I wanted us to be a blessing to others because God has so graciously blessed us.  We have ended up being so blessed by our opportunity to show love to some of the least of these.

It was such a blessing when Mr. Bailey looked at me and said, Just to think...that you would take time out of your day to come and see me...but I was thinking what a blessing it was to be able to sit and listen to him share with my children and I about his thirty years in Alaska.

It was such a blessing to finally have Gracie respond after several weeks of visiting and no noticeable response to my questions.

It was such a blessing to have LouLou help me sing to Audrea.  Audrea who had trouble speaking joined right in with Tell Me the Story of Jesus and just a few days later she was meeting that Jesus that she so joyfully sang about.

It was such a blessing when Nell responded by actually following me with her eyes instead of just staring at the ceiling.

It was such a blessing to meet Helen and give her a flower and to see how meaningful a flower could be.

But the greatest blessing of all has been to see my little two-year old girl reach her hand out and stroke grey hair as we sing and read the Bible to Gracie.  In that moment, the tears well up and I think to myself...that's why I'm doing this...to show my children what Jesus meant when he said:

 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.  Matthew25:35-40

Our Last Picnic

I'll never forget the last converstaion I had with her.  It was a warm, fall day one of the last of the year, if I am remembering correctly.  I had packed a picnic lunch and promised to take the little ones to the park after we ran our errands.  We finished our to-do list and headed to the park, but the park was closed.

I suggested to the little ones we go visit with MaMaw.  We could even take our picnic with us and see if she felt like finding an outside table to visit with us in the sunshine.  When we arrived at the nursing home she was not in her room.  The nursing assisstant told me she was getting her bath and would be out in a few minutes.  We patiently waited and inside I was hoping she was having one of her good days.  A good day where she would recognize me and the littles and visit with us without saying things that did not make a lot of sense.

I heard the nursing assitant bringing her down the hall, explaining that she had company waiting on her.  When she rounded the corner, I could immediatley tell that this was a very good day for her.  She recognized us instantly and seemed so excited to see us.  We found a comfortable table outside and ate our picnic lunch with the sun warming our faces and the breeze blowing gently.  She felt well enough to hold my nursling while I ate and she was very content in MaMaws arms.  Each of the children talked with her briefly and hugged her before skipping off to play around the flower beds.  I turned her around so she could watch them play and sat down beside her. 

After watching the children for a few minutes, she looked at me and said, "Holli, the most important thing a man and woman can do together is have a family.  Children are precious."  The only words I could manage at this point were,  "Yes they are, you are so right."  I rubbed her arm and we talked about the weather and how she had been feeling.  I  promised another picnic as soon as the weather started to warm in the spring. But I couldn't stop thinking about her words.  They conveyed such deep meaning to me. Because her journey on earth was quickly coming to an end.  In a couple of weeks she would be ninety.  Here is someone who has been around so many years, she had seen so many things and she was sharing a part of her heart with me.  She had taken the time to reflect on life and share a bit of her wisdom with me.

In the end, and the end will come, I want to look back with no regrets.  I want to be surrounded with family that I have invested my life in.  I want to be surrounded by my God that I have given myself too.  I want to decrease so that he can increase.  I want to prasie the Lord with each breath so that when my last breath comes, I awaken in his presence praising him forevermore.

We never got to have that spring picnic because she died peacefully yesterday. On  the subsequent visits we made to the nursing home this winter she seemed very quiet.  She hugged us and loved on the littles but she didn't say very much.  I am so thankful for that picnic last fall when she shared a peace of her heart with me.  I will treasure it always.

Some things I want to remember...

that I knew my great-grandmother

that my children knew their great-great grandmother

that she lived alone and cared for herself for 88 years

she loved children...she had two of her own and mothered many others through the years

she loved to fish

she loved to read

when I was little I spent the night with her and snuggled with her in her bed and we talked and talked and talked

sitting in the swing with her...listening to her as she told stories about where we were going as we rode our train(swing);-)

listening to her stories about the picture she had hanging in her house (two little boys playing in the creek)
we put many jigsaw puzzles together on her living room coffee table
hearing her happy "hi" when she called to talk to me on the phone

picking her up as I would go to town and spending time with her as we ran errands

picking her up for the day and letting her spend it at our house playing with her great-great grandchildren

picnics at the park

she never missed a chance to go out to eat

she never missed a chance to give a gift

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. Psalms 116:15

If you ever want to check up with your priorities, I encourage you to vist a nursing home and make a few friends.  Life comes into perspective quickly and most likely you will not be the same.  I know I am changed!

 

Love is...

What an appropriate fruit of the Spirit to study first.  I have been slowly making my way through Living Beyond Yourself.  This Spirit living is something I need desprately.  Letting myself decrease so that He can increase. I wake each day with plans to let the Spirit lead and when my feet hit the floor I so easily let the natural woman take over.

4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

After much studying on this fruit of the Spirit, I was given a perfect oppurtunity to see if I was truly growing in this area.  My sweet husband failed to run an errand and I was hurt. This errand wasn't forgotten, just not done.  I immediately let him know how disappointed I was that this had not been taken care of. He responded that if I would like to see that done, I would have to do it myself.  I was really angry at this point, but I chose not to say anything.  As I reflected on the situation, God kept reminding me about the first fruit of the Spirit-LOVE!

I kept meditating on 1 Corinthians 13:5

5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

This verse had started to penetrate my heart, it was doing its intended work discerning my thoughts and intents.  I was angry! I felt like screaming, but I couldn't.  Because to scream would mean that everything I'd been learning had been forgotten.  It would mean that I had suddenly decided to become a hearer of the word and not a doer. It would mean that I had looked into the perfect law of liberty and gotten a glimpse of my selfish, ugly heart and decided to walk away unchanged.

22But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth].

23For if anyone only listens to the Word without obeying it and being a doer of it, he is like a man who looks carefully at his [own] natural face in a mirror;

24For he thoughtfully observes himself, and then goes off and promptly forgets what he was like.

25But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience).

I want do want to be changed,  but transforming to Spirit living is hard.  It's far easier to do what comes naturally.  Paying attention to a suffered wrong does come quite naturally for me,  especially when the perceived wrong came from my beloved.  It's far easier to overlook an offense from someone I don't know.
The ones I love most need this Spirit living, so I persevere because if I can they will receive a blessing.

Thoughts on Thoughts

Because of God's great love for me, a love that is for my good, he has given me guidelines for the thoughts that should enter into my mind. This verse is very clear about the thoughts that should take up residence in my mind.

For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and loveable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things. Philippians 4:8, Amplified

If any thought enters my mind that is not allowed by the above verse I should immediatley take it captive for Christ.

{Inasmuch as we} refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the {true} knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). II Corinthians 10:5, Amplified

I am to control my thoughts.  My thoughts are not to control me.  The things I let consume my time will ultimately consume my thoughts.  There was a point in my life that T.V. and entertainment controlled much of what was put into my mind.  Books, magazines, and television shows shaped the way I viewed my life, marriage and future plans.  Trying to live up to Hollywood's expectations will make for a sad, miserable person. 

I am so thankful that God in his great love and by his overwhelming grace freed me from the bondage of expectations I had placed on myself when I filled my mind with wordly wisdom.  God is faithful to his word. When I started focusing on his plan for me as a woman revealed through his word, I found unsurpassed peace, joy and contentment.   That is how I can be Settled In My Home.

 Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.
Pslams 37:4, Amplified

"I'm following your steps mommy"...

During a short walk down the road with the littles today, barefoot Bo begins walking closely behind me. "I'm following your steps mommy, I'm even stepping on the hard rocks like you."

Inside I wince. Please don't follow me. I haven't been the best person to be following . Selfish impatience seems to get the better of me. Reacting too hastily to little ones mistakes seems to explain my parenting techniques as of late. As I think back over the situations I've been called to handle lately, it seems I've made a mess of each one.

I can't proclaim with the confidence of Paul in 1 Corinthians 11:1, "Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ." I need to practice more living in the spirit. I long for spirit living that makes a difference in my moments. Choosing to live each moment so that Christ is clearly seen in my life.

So that when one of the littles proclaim, "I'm following you." I can say, "Carry on sweet one, because I am following another far greater than I."

Holli

Praying from Head to Toe

I found this post on A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, to be just what I needed in this season of life with four little ones five and under. My prayer time for the last several years had consisted of prayer cards with requests for each member of my family. For the last several months I had found the cards too cumbersome and somewhat of a burden. It was very difficult to find the time to sit and pray through the cards at one time.

After reading the above post, I decided to try praying for my children from head to toe. I began with my newest nursling and prayed for her mind all the way down to her toes during one of her nursing sessions. It was very powerful and I felt a mental prayer block that I had seemed to develop fade away with my tears as I touched each tiny body part and prayed scripture over her.

I then tried praying over Bo from head to toe when awoke from nap earlier than everyone else one day. Rocking my big boy in the rocking chair I prayed scripture over his life using his body parts from head to toe as reminders. When I finished he asked me to pray something over his stomach (ha! ha!) and he also wanted to know when it was Boo's turn.

I have since prayed over all of my children several time and find the visual reminders of their little heads, eyes, ears, mouths, faces, hands and feet very helpful in remembering specific scriptures I want to pray over them.

Here are several scriptures that I have been praying over them lately. I am going to take time to look up more scripture to pray over them very soon. I plan to make an index card ring with scriptures dealing specifically with each body part very soon.

mind

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

eyes

"I will set before my eyes no vile thing"... Psalms 101:3

ears

"Listen to advice and accept instruction and in the end you will be wise." Proverbs 19:20

mouth

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

heart

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psalms 119:11

countenance

"Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." Psalms 34:5

hands

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward." Colossians 3: 23-24

feet

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." Psalms 119:105

Living By the Spirit

broken computer...

three little hands with splinters...

a gallon of water spilled on the floor...

atmosphere ripe for tension...patience could be lost at any moment... but for this moment we choose to let His Spirit live through us...we choose calmness instead of lost self-control...we choose gentle words instead if impatient ones.

Oh, how I always want to make this decision. When the times are trying...living beyond any response that is gnawing to come out of my mouth...those emotions welling up within...letting Christ respond through me. It feels so much better in the end. Hearts are left whole...relationships are spared...tears are left for another day

Still learning,
Holli...who is going to begin a study of the fruits of the spirit...daily learning how to let him live through me

Did God really say???

"Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" Genesis 3:1

The same crafty, cunning serpent that approached Eve with the words "Did God really say?", uses the same approach with us today. For if he can get me to doubt that God really meant what he said, then my behavior will start deviating from the standard of holiness outlined in God's Word.

How many times throughout the day am I faced with situations when these same words enter into my mind?

Did God really say, "Be holy as I am holy."? (1Peter 1:15-16)

Did God really say, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."? (James 1:19)

Did God really say, "These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."? (Deut 6: 6-7)

Did God really say, "Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."? (Col. 3:12-13)

Did God really say, "Wives submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." (Col. 3:18)

Did God really say, "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances..."? (1 Thess 5:16-17)

Did God really say, "Avoid every kind of evil." ? (1 Thess 5:22)

Did God really say, " Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their own husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."?(Titus 2:4-5)

To live the life of obedience to Christ I must be sure to know what God says in His Word. Because when I know God has called me to live in a certain way I can then begin to ask for his strength to live in obedience to His Word.

Still learning,

Holli

Brokenness over sin...

Since I have been a mommy, God has continually used my children to bring me to my knees and to teach me more about his love, grace and character than anyone else. Today was no exception.

Bo aggravated his brother this morning with a warning from me that he was not to do that specific thing again. A couple of hours later...it happens...again. In this home we use The 21 Rules of Our Home. These rules have become the foundation of the order we expect in this home. The rules are based on scripture. I reference a scripture for each rule we memorize. Rule 21 is In this home, when we forget or disobey any of the 21 rules of our home, we accept discipline and instruction. So Bo had to be corrected.

After the correction, I went out to help Boo close the chicken coop. I came back in and Bo was weeping uncontrollably on the couch. I picked him up and just held him asking him what was wrong. He said, I thought something I should not have thought. I rocked him and sang to him. I asked him to tell mommy what he had said. After about 20 minutes he finally told me he thought a mean thought about Boo. I should not have done that mommy and I am sorry. We prayed, I told him that:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

He prayed..he asked for forgiveness...he began to clam down and return to the happy little boy I know. But, I will never forget that brokenness. I have never seen him so convicted...so uncomfortable..and I thought I need some of that.

After years of dealing with sin, I guess I've become a little hardened to it. When was the last time I sat down and wept because I has a harsh thought about someone? When have been so broken over my own sin that I couldn't get it out of my mind until it was dealt with. I pray for a brokenness like my sweet Bo. A heart so tender to wrong...a heart knowing he had disobeyed God...a heart out of fellowship longing to return.

Give me a heart like a child...

Still Learning,

Holli

That don't make no sense

"That don't make no sense." -Boo 3 years old

I was explaining to the boys about what Jesus says about turning the other cheek when we are wronged by someone. I went on to explain that Jesus was our perfect example because when he was beaten and crucified the Bible tells us that:

"
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth:he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth." Isaiah 53:7

I was hoping that this example would make a deep impression on the boys. Just as I was thinking that maybe this had made them think about turning the other cheek Boo made this statement:

"That don't make no sense."

At first I was a little irritated and at this point I don't even remember what I said to him about it. But that little grammatically incorrect statement by my three-year old has stayed on my mind. You see children speak the truth as they see it and the fact is he saw this very clearly.

You know what? It doesn't make sense. The extravagant, rich, far-reaching grace of God does not make sense! How he could love me enough to suffer does not make sense. But it is this extravagant love he has for me that makes me run after him each day.

"While we were yet in weakness at the fitting time Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:6

"But God shows and clearly proves his love for us by the fact that while we were sinners Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"...But where sin increased and abounded, grace has surpassed it and increased the more and superabounded." Romans 5:20

Christ chose to do something completely senseless to me. At the fitting time, Christ willingly gave his life for me. And this sacrifice that doesn't make sense demands my life, my all.

"I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." Romans 12:1

Still Learning...(from my children)

Holli

A Family Vision

Where there is no vision the people perish... Proverbs 29:18a

If a group of people can perish without a vision for the future, so to can a family. God prompted our hearts a couple of years ago to pray about and discuss a vision for our family. We had always had certain dreams for the future, but a family vision seemed to give us a road map to follow.

Here are some of the visions we have for our family:

1. We believe we have been called by God to educate our children in the home.

2. We desire to move to a home with several acres of land, so that we are more able to grow and produce our own food.

3. We want Chris to be able to work form home with the family.

4. We desire to raise our children so that we convey to them that their chief purpose in life is to glorify God by living a life of obedience, holiness and conformity to God's perfect plan .

Now having these visions clearly outlined helps us make decisions from day to day. When we are faced with a choice we have some guidelines to help us answer these questions. For example, when we are asked by people if Bo is going to pre-school or isn't he almost old enough to go to school? We can confidently answer no we have chosen to homeschool. Now, I would leave it at that with most people, but if questions persist, I can say with confidence that sending him to public school or pre-school does not fit into the plan we have for our family.

Chris recently had the opportunity to go on an alternate schedule at work. It was a hard decision, but ultimately, more time at home seemed to win out. This decision fit perfectly with the third vision for our family which is Chris being able to work at home. It is not fulfilling this vision, but it is a step closer.

Lastly, we made the decision to not have a television in our home (only for a few pre-selected movies). This fits in well with the fourth vision for our family. Television seems to be one of the biggest time wasters in most homes. Before we got rid of our television, we would sit in front of it for 3-4 hours per night. Let's see 3-4 hours of the worlds standards being pumped into our homes or 3-4 hours spent with our children playing, having family worship and reading. There really is no comparison. Television would have stood in the way of our fourth vision. If we were constantly watching shows that glorify sin, make jokes of God's perfect plan for man and woman and advertisements that develop a must-have attitude we really would not be instilling in our children a healthy respect for obedience to God, a realization that life is about holiness not happiness and an understanding that God's plan is perfect, not the worlds.

So having a vision based on the Word of God really helps guide our daily decisions. If a decision comes up all we have to do is search God's Word, pray and consult the list of visions God has given for our family.

Still Learning...

Holli

What does it mean to be "pro-family"?

With all of the talk about "pro-family" values swirling around the media, I thought I would break down what it means to be pro-family according to God's unchanging word. You see the God who created man and woman and instituted the family is the same God we serve today. He has some specific guidelines for families and when families begin adopting these guidelines God's beautiful plan for families begins to be revealed to a hurting world.


Just because someone is pro-life does not mean they are pro-family.

Just because someone has children does not make them pro-family.

Just because someone claims to be a christian does not make them pro-family.



To be "for your family" you must first understand how God has designed the family to function.



First and foremost God has designed the father to be head of the home. He is to embrace this calling wholeheartedly as protector, provider and spiritual leader.

"For the husband is head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church..."

Ephesians 5:24

"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:24

As a wife I find great comfort in the fact that I am not the head of my home. I try to embrace my role daily as Chris' helper. I enjoy praying for him, encouraging him and being a trusted counselor when he asks my ideas and opinions.

God's hierarchy of authority does not offend me in the least. Our God who loves us and knows us better than anyone saw fit to place the father's as the head of the home. I trust my God's decision in this area.

But, trusting my God's decision is not enough. I must next embrace the high calling he has given me within the family unit. I can say God knows best, but if I do not daily seek to obey him in regard to my role in the family I would be living as if I knew what was best. God's word is very clear when it comes to the purpose he has for young women.

"That they may teach they young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." Titus 2:4-5

Titus is very clear that a woman's role within the family is to love her husband and children and be keeper of their home. This role is to approached with the utmost care and attention. For to love my husband as he provides for us and seeks to lead us spiritually is a wonderful way to show our children how wonderful their daddy really is. To love my children and seek to make our home a safe haven from the world will have more impact on the next generation than any career I could strive after. If I am not successful in the role God has given me in my home and family it would never matter how successful I was in any career paths.

Not only does being "pro-family" embrace the roles God has given man and woman, but an individual who claims to be pro-family must love their children and invest in their lives daily.

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord:and the fruit of the womb is his reward."

Psalms 127:3

Children are a reward from God. We must accept the rewards God bestows with humility and seek daily to raise them up as a godly heritage. It is very hard to raise warriors for Christ if our children are involved in everything that the world deems valuable. From government schools to little league to television, if children are receiving the majority of their training from others we can expect them to display the values and priorities that they see being lived before them. A few verses to consider in light of the educational choices and activities in which we allow our children to be involved.

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in his law doth he meditate day and night." Psalms 1:1-2

Are my children daily sitting in the seats of the ungodly for education and counsel? Do my children have the opportunity to meditate on his word day and night? or Are my children so busy with the things of this world that they only have time to consider God on Sundays when they are sent to Sunday school and their teacher teachers them a 20 minute lesson?

"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto they children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down and when thou risest up." Deut. 6:7

God's word is very clear that we as fathers and mothers are to teach our children his truths, the responsibility falls on no one else.

So the next time someone talks about being "pro-family" consider their claims against the truth of God's word.

Still Learning,

Holli

Happy Birthday My Nursling

One year ago on July 19, 2007 our baby girl was born. My nursling turned one yesterday. What a wonderful first year. Happy Birthday Little One, you are much loved by us all.

As I reflect on the first year with my little girl I am so grateful for the way she has already caused me to examine my words and actions. When I think that she will one day be a wife and mother and her attitudes toward her husband and little ones will be greatly influenced by my attitude now, it causes me to stop and reflect frequently.

Thank you Lord for the blessings of a daughter.

Holli

A Rare Treasure...Seek One...or...Be One?

I taught a lesson last Wednesday night in the mothering class that I am teaching on the Proverbs 31 woman. I wanted to post some of that lesson here with some further thoughts.

As the mother of two young sons, I can identify with the advice King Lemuel's mother gave him when he was a boy. I can just picture her taking him onto her lap and ruffling his hair as she kisses him on top of the head. She begins to offer him some nuggets of wisdom. She tells him to avoid loose women, avoid strong drink, and speak up and defend those who cannot defend themselves. The advice is not unlike what Chris and I have already had to discuss with our sons. Just within the last couple of weeks we have already had the alcohol and tobacco discussion complete with pictures on how they can ravage the body.

In verse 1o Lemuel's mother begins her discussion on the type of woman Lemuel should search out as a wife. She dedicates the remaining 21 verses to a description of a wife who would benefit and uplift her husband.

"A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman-who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. Prov. 31:10"

As a future King, Lemuel had no doubt been exposed to kingly riches. But a wife who is capable of running his household, wise enough to be a trusted advisor and godly in character would no doubt be his most treasured possession.

"
The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.

She comforts, encourages and does him only good as long as there is life within her."

Proverbs 31:11-12

Am I Chris' most treasured possession? I pray that I am. I am amazed at the change that God has worked in my own heart and mind since we married almost eleven years ago. My heart's desire had always been to be a wife and mother, but God continually works on me, refining me into the woman his inspired word has commanded me to be.

As I read the above verse, I am compelled to examine my life. Does Chris confidently trust in me? Does he trust my commitment to him and our marriage? Does he believe in my commitment to be a wise manager of the living he brings home? Does he trust in my ability to train and nurture our children day by day? Does he trust that I will prepare the very best food and clothing for us that his money will provide?

I think he does. I so desire to bring him comfort and encouragement. I pray that each day I live I will do him more good than the day before. But this takes me dying to myself daily. If I am not extremely careful I can let pride take hold and I begin to live for myself. As soon as I become focused on my own self, my own desires and my own needs, I begin to resent serving others.

I'm not implying that I do not enjoy the occasional break, but when I begin searching for it day in and day out, I begin to resent the family that God has entrusted to my care. I'm reminded of Christ and his disciples withdrawing occasionally for some time alone. Many times the crowd followed and Jesus was always moved with compassion to begin ministering once again. When Christ is my example, I will always strive to minister and serve no matter how weary I may become in my own strength because

"My grace is enough for you; ...for My strength and power are made perfect and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 Amp

Proverbs 31 continues with brief glimpses into the life of a woman who is a true treasure.

She

is a willing worker

provides the best for her household

is an entrepreneur

is productive when she needs to be

she makes cloth and readies her grain

is prepared for the future

she reaches out to the needy

makes garments and sell them

opens her mouth in wisdom and kindness

A life lived in this manner will be cause for our children to rise and up call us blessed. Our husbands will praise our efforts.

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised!"

Proverbs 31:30

Do I fear the Lord enough to live the life he has commanded that I live?

I not only have two sons that I should encourage with these verses as they seek a wife one day, but I have a daughter that I must prepare to be some special man's treasure.

This was the part that made me think the most. I am afraid many parents are not preparing their daughters to be a treasure one day, instead they are preparing their daughters to seek earthly treasures.

You see, our culture today promotes preparing daughters to go to college and establishing a successful career as goal number one. . This mentality is preparing the daughters of today to believe that college and career are the real treasures in life and marriage and family are only secondary. I have major objections to this line of thinking, because it is simply not in keeping with God's word.

Did I go to college? Yes

Do I think it is wrong for a girl to go to college? Not necessarily. But I would caution parents of daughters today to think about the ramifications of countless dollars and hours spent preparing for a career outside the home. Let's teach our daughters that being a Keeper of the Home has great value because they are not only investing in this life, but eternity as they raise Godly children.

How will we raise Shater to embrace the high calling of being a wife and mother? We are still not entirely sure but living and loving my high calling in front of her will speak much louder than any words.

Still Learning...

Holli