Habits, Revisited

Miss Mason's writings are so rich with information that it takes me awhile to digest what I am reading.  I have been reading volume two lately and especially the sections on habit training.  I believe I will always learn something new and seek to improve my daily mothering habits while I am training my little ones.  There are several quotes that stood out to me during my readings...

this quote speaking  of Edward Waverly...His abilities were even brilliant , but 'I ought' had waited upon 'I like' from his earliest days, and he had never learned to make himself do the thing he would.

Volume 2, pg 64

If my children are never made to do what they ought to do because it is the right thing to do they will grow to be very selfish.  If my littles are only happy and content doing what they like this home would not be a very pleasant place when duty calls. Teaching my children about responsibility is part of the training that I must give them.  Duty does call for a little one.  Some scenerios I can think of...cleaning up after themsleves... sharing with others....considering the need/interest of a sibling instead of wanting their own way, etc.

Obedience in the first year and all the virtues of the good life as the years go on; every year with its own definite work in the training of character.  Is Edward a selfish child when his fifth birthday comes?  The fact is noted in his parent's yearbook, with the reslove that by his sixth birthday he shall, please God, be a generous child.

Volume 2, pg 65

This quote reminded me of something that I read in Shepharding a Child's Heart.  Parents should set aside a time to discuss their little ones strengths and weaknesses.  A plan should be decided on to tackle the weaknesses and encourage the strengths.  Chris and I have been doing this lately.  There are some tendancies we have noticed in our children that we want to help them overcome.  We are still in the process of working out a definite plan to help with re-training the weaknesses.

The physique, the temper, the disposition,the career, the affections, the aspirations of a man are all, more or less, the outcome of the discipline his parents have brought him under, or of the lawlessness they have allowed.

Volume 2, pg 66

This quote reminded me of a verse found in Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Give the ill weeds no room to grow.

Volume 2, Pg 84

These are a few of the thoughts from Chrarlotte Mason and the Bible that I am living with right now.  I am no expert in habit training.  I am daily learning how to best train my children up in the way they should go.

A few older posts on habit training

More to come...

Helping a Home Run Smoothly

As a mommy to four little ones five and under, I could find myself picking up after everyone all day everyday. But, I have tried to teach my littles to clean up after themselves. I find that little ones can be quite helpful when trained how to do chores properly.

Each time they help, I try to praise them for a job well done. If a job is not completed joyfully and correctly, they have to start all over again. I had to only make them start over about two times and since then they work quickly and joyfully.

What can a four and five year old do to help a home run more smoothly?
*The boys are required to do their eye game several times everyday. I may declare eye game time at any moment. They have to go from room to room and look for things to put away.
*The boys can make their beds. I don't require this yet, because they still nap.
*My five year old cleans their bathroom counter and commode.
*My four year old vacuums the floor.
*Both boys can fold and put away the towels.
*The boys gather the eggs, and feed the dogs and cats.
*Sometimes the boys help with the dishes.
*Take the garbage out and gather the cans after garbage day.

I worked with them a couple of times while they folded clothes, cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed. They are fairly independent when doing the tasks now. There are times I have to gently remind them to finish part of their tasks, but they seem to enjoy being helpers.

What can a two year old do to help?
*Our little one loves to feed the cat and dogs. (If I can keep her from eating the food herself)
*She loves to help me sweep and wash dishes.
*She can pick her toys up.
*She likes putting the clothes in the dryer.
*She can also put her clothes away after I have folded them.

When everyone works together our days run much more smoothly.

Holli

Miss Mason on Habits

As I seek to work on habit training with my children, I have been reading along with the Ambleside YR0 group as they read through the habit training section in Home Education by Miss Mason. This section is full of so many ideas I hardly know where to begin. I think I'll give some consideration to Miss Mason's idea that some habits are learned just by living in the home, not through any direct teaching.

Here are her thoughts:

...the child's most fixed and dominat habits are those which the mother takes no pains about, but which the child picks up for himself through his close observation of all that is said and done, felt and thought, in his home.

We have already considered a group of half-physical habits-order, regularity, neatness which the child imbibes, so to speak, in this way. But this is not all: habits of gentleness, courtesy, kindness, candour, respect for other people, or-habits quite other than these, are inspired by the child as the very atmosphere of his home, the air he lives in and must grow by.

Home Education, pg. 136-137

As I read this I was once again reminded that actions speak louder than words.

The habits that will be most ingrained in the hearts and minds of my children will not be the habits that I try to teach them, but the ones that they observe in my life, and their father's life. Surely, no one has ever believed that do as I say, not as I do could ever work?

So as I begin to work on habit training my children the very first thing I must do is look into myself. Does the atmosphere I create in our home allow my children to develop habits that will benefit them?

It's quite easy for me to maintain a sense of order and regularity to our days. I am a person who thirves on routine and schedules (former Kindergarten teacher here). My children do quite well with a routine. I feel like it gives them a sense of security.

The habits of gentleness, courtesy, kindness, candour, respect for others are the ones that I really need to continually work on in myself so that I can see progress in the lives of my children.

I am reminded of Colossians 3:12,

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindess, humility,gentleness and patience.

and Galations 5:22,

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law.

So for me, the key is spending some time in bible study and prayer each morning before I am faced with a day full of having to show gentleness when we are in a hurry to leave; kindness when the drink is spilled on my freshly mopped floor; courtesy when someone pulls out in front of me while driving; candour when someone makes a different decision than I would have;respect when I am discipling a two and three year old.

As always, when I set out to help someone else, the first thing that needs to be changed is myself.

Still learning...

Holli

February Habit-Obedience

A new month brings a new habit to focus on. This month I would like to work on the habit of obedience. I feel like the boys do a good job of obeying me, but there are a few things we need to work on.

I feel like with Bo the habit of attention and obedience is all wrapped up into one. Many times I ask him to do something and he's off to comply. A few minutes later I find him distracted by something else. He still has intentions of obeying, but it's slow in coming. He seems to need more direct eye contact and a hand on the shoulder to facilitate a quick obedience. This is something that I hope to get better with day by day. I am going to have to train myself to only give a command that I expect to be carried out immediatlely. Charlotte Mason speaks about that here:

In conclusion, let me say that the education of habit is successful in so far as it

enables the mother to let her children alone, not teasing them with perpetual

commands and directions-a running fire of Do and Don't; but letting them

go thier own way and grow, having first secured that they will

go the right way, and grow to fruitful purpose

Vol.1 Pg 134

This quote reminds me of the verse in Ephesians 6:2:

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

I have noticed that Bo and Boo have been waiting until the 2nd time I ask them to do something before they comply. This is completely my fault! I have been allowing a command to be given twice before I expected obedience. We will be working on this throughout the month.

So this month we are working on obedience the first time mommy or daddy speaks. Mommy and Daddy are working on only making commands that we intend to see carried out.

Update on Habit Training

The month of January has come to a close and I have been working on the habit of being a helper in our home.

Bo and Boo both have really enjoyed helping me cook and wash dishes. It has been difficult to stick to the original schedule because when I let one of them help me the other wants to help as well. Also, on some days when its time for them to help they are playing so well together that I am hesitant to interrupt, so I let them continue playing.

As I have been thinking about instilling in my sons a desire to serve God through helping others, I have become convicted. Since I believe that children pick up on habits through family atmosphere and observation, I need to rethink the way I instruct them to pick up their toys. Many times I stand over them making them pick up the toys and it is seems to be a point of controversy most days. I guess if I expect my children to develop a servants heart, I may need to offer my help.

Instead of "Pick up the toys." "Help me, mommy!" "No, sweetie, mommy did not dump the toys out." Maybe, "I'll be happy to help you pick up your toys."

Of course their will be times when they will be required to clean things up without help and without question, but I need to be more helpful when they ask, so I am modeling how they can be of help to others.

Still learning...
Holli

New Habits for a New Year

As the new year begins, I really want to implement some elements of our future home school.
I have been tossing these ideas around in my mind, but I haven't written anything out yet.

As the reading this week in The Original Homeschooling Series is about habit, I plan to start working on one habit per month that will make our life easier when we begin our official Year 1 with Bo.

"Wherefore, it is as much the parent's duty to educate his child into moral strength and purpose and intellectual activity as it is to feed him and clothe him; and that in spite of his nature, if it must be so.

Nature then, strong as she is, is not invincible; and, at her best, Nature is not to be permitted to ride rampant. Bit and bridle, hand and voice, will get the utmost of endeavour out of her if her training be taken in hand in time; but let Nature run wild, like the forest ponies, and not spur nor whip will break her in.

It was new to me, for instance, to perceive that it rests with parents and teachers to lay down lines of habit on which the life of the child may run henceforth with little jolting or miscarriage, and may advance in the right direction with the minimum of effort."

So for this month. I would like to begin working with Bo and Boo on being helpers. I am planning on making a small pocket chart for the frig with clip art or pictures illustrating the jobs I want them to help me with each day.

This will be a big change for me, because I usually cleaning the house while the boys are playing. I really want them to be involved in helping care for our home. I want to make it an enjoyable thing to do together. I do not want to always clean the house myself and then suddenly, ask them to take on a job when they get to be a certain age. I want to make contributing to our home something they have always done.

So here's what I had in mind:

Daily

Bo: dress(he already does this)

brush teeth

help prepare breakfast (Bo is usually my early riser)

help wash dishes after lunch

sweep under table after lunch

pick-up toys as needed (this is the one that always causes controversy)

*Tuesday-bring garbage cans back to house

unload and put away groceries/house items as needed

Weekly Home Blessing Hour ( flylady ): help change sheets, wash windows

Boo: dress(we are working on this)

brush teeth

help prepare supper (this can be a time of conflict between the boys at the end of

the day, so separating them may prove beneficial)

help wash dishes after breakfast

sweep under table after breakfast

pick-up toys as needed (controversy as well)

*Tuesday-garbage cans back to the house

unload and put away groceries/house items as needed

Weekly Home Blessing Hour:change sheets/wash windows

I tried to think of jobs that I think the boys will enjoy. It's a lot of fun for a 2 and 3 year old to wash dishes as well as cook. Boo loves to find his broom and help sweep anytime I am sweeping. I am sure I can convince the boys to help unload and put things away if I tell them I need help from some boys with big muscles.

I want to work on conveying a servant's heart as I care for the children daily.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17